10 Ways to Win an Argument With a 2 Year Old

1. Fake an injury.  She will forget about that snack she has been begging for (after refusing breakfast!) and become concerned over your "owie".

2. Imitate him.  He will be shocked by your atrocious behavior and hopefully move on to another subject. 

3. Keep agreeing with her, but don't follow through with your agreement.  The clash of your actions versus your words will mystify her little mind, and before you know it: what Dora show?

4. Offer an off-limits item as a truce.  "I will let you play with Daddy's wallet if you stop bothering me..."

5. Hide in the bathroom until the argument blows over.  Mommy just needs a little privacy, okay honey?

6. Threaten a nap if that isn't already the subject of your fight with him.  Hey, us parents only have a few aces in the hole.  Sometimes we have to use them. 

7. Run in the other direction.  No matter how out of shape you are, her little legs are no match for yours. 

8. Pretend to be asleep.  Can you believe kids actually fall for that stunt?

9. Offer Mountain Dew, Red Bull, Shocktarts, Betty Crocker's double fudge chocolate cake, Double Bubble, Snickers...whatever throws him off the scent of that new Elmo he's begging you to purchase.

10. Give in to her demands.  Is this really worth you missing your show?


***DISCLAIMER: All above comments are for comedic purposes only and do not reflect the views or actions of this blogger.***

I'm a Genius! and a Bad Influence

Have I mentioned that Hailley is not a morning person?  Each and every dayspring I am greeted with tears, wails and the best word on earth, "NNNNOOOOOOO!" (insert sarcasm here)  This morning Hailley woke me up at 6:45 a.m. screaming in her room.  Was she sick?  Nooo! Was she hurt? Nooo!  Was she scared?  Nooo!  Hailley was awake, and it was morning.

I am tired of the sunrise tantrums.  I want to wake up like Cinderella, with birds singing around me (and making my bed), warm sun shining on my face, and a hot bath and clean clothes (complete with ribbons) to slip into.  Hailley is quite effectively ruining my morning fantasies.  She would be Lucifer the cat, eating my birds, in the Disney classic.  So I made the executive decision that I would not allow her attitude to affect mine.  I want my day to start nice, and darn it if I am going to let a whiny toddler set fire to my desires.

I have to figure out how to get my attitude to change hers.  So far it's been a bust.  But this morning..

When Hailley started her usual meltdown at the ripe hour of 7 a.m., I decided to feed her marshmallows.  Yes that's what I wrote, marshmallows.  Big fat ones that plugged up her angry beautiful little mouth and turned her frown upside down!

Now we are both smiling, and I know why parents feed their kids that sugary crap at breakfast time.  Needless to say I can't keep doing this, but today my birds feel it's safe to come out.  I left my bed unmade if any feathered friends make their way in there.