10 Ways to Win an Argument With a 2 Year Old

1. Fake an injury.  She will forget about that snack she has been begging for (after refusing breakfast!) and become concerned over your "owie".

2. Imitate him.  He will be shocked by your atrocious behavior and hopefully move on to another subject. 

3. Keep agreeing with her, but don't follow through with your agreement.  The clash of your actions versus your words will mystify her little mind, and before you know it: what Dora show?

4. Offer an off-limits item as a truce.  "I will let you play with Daddy's wallet if you stop bothering me..."

5. Hide in the bathroom until the argument blows over.  Mommy just needs a little privacy, okay honey?

6. Threaten a nap if that isn't already the subject of your fight with him.  Hey, us parents only have a few aces in the hole.  Sometimes we have to use them. 

7. Run in the other direction.  No matter how out of shape you are, her little legs are no match for yours. 

8. Pretend to be asleep.  Can you believe kids actually fall for that stunt?

9. Offer Mountain Dew, Red Bull, Shocktarts, Betty Crocker's double fudge chocolate cake, Double Bubble, Snickers...whatever throws him off the scent of that new Elmo he's begging you to purchase.

10. Give in to her demands.  Is this really worth you missing your show?


***DISCLAIMER: All above comments are for comedic purposes only and do not reflect the views or actions of this blogger.***

Just when I thought...

I went away for the weekend with my girl friends.  It was wonderful; we enjoyed a child-free, carefree weekend together.  I slept in!  I sat in a hot tub! I shopped for myself! (Kind of.) I left my two younger children; Maximus, now 10 months, and Hailley, 2 1/2, in the care of my husband during this time. 

Now I trust my husband completely.  I was slightly worried about the state of the house upon my return, but I was pretty sure my kids were in capable hands.  When I came home Sunday afternoon everything seemed pretty good to me.  The kitchen looked like it had never seen a dishrag, every possible plate and silverware piece we own was unclean and the dog bowls were bone dry, but I can settle for that. 

I asked Blake, my wonderful husband, how his weekend was. 
"Great!" He responded cheerfully.  The kids were bathed and napping he told me.  He relayed his weekend activities and I divulged mine, and then we resumed our lives. 

The next day I was giving my son a morning bath and I noticed that the caps to both the baby shampoo and the baby wash were closed.  This may not sound abnormal to you, but it struck me as odd because Blake is incapable of shutting any lid, ever.  He leaves open ketchup tops, water bottle tops, baby wipes, cupboards, etc.  You name it, he leaves it open.  Well that is sweet of him, I thought.  He actually remembered to close two lids!

I was wrong.  I ignored my instincts.  I went against my intuition in defense of my husband, the father of my children, the love of my life.  I hoped he closed those lids. 

The day after my suspicious observation, I noticed what lid Blake had left open in the bathroom: the lid for the dog shampoo.