Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I know that you typically only deliver gifts to children who believe in you, but I figured I would take a chance and hope that you would find time in your busy holiday schedule to send a few things to a frazzled mom.  A mom who has been covering your butt for the last 9 years, buying gifts for her kids and putting YOUR name on the label. 

You owe me old man. Ever since that one year when I got mostly hideous clothing for Christmas, you owe me.  I put that season of turtleneck, itchy sweater misery on you. 

Okay, so here's my list.  I organized everything according to priority, from most important to least important.  If you can't give me everything, then at least cover the first few items on the list.

1. Peace and joy.  By this, I mean that I specifically want cheerful mornings, quiet nap times, and loving dinners. 
2. An exercise and eating plan that I can actually follow and lose weight.  (I don't care what Dr. Oz says, eating nothing but vegetables for a year is NOT fun!)
3. A decent night's sleep.  Silly me for assuming toddlers slept through the night. 
4. A tiny maid to follow my husband and kids around and pick up after them.  Can you spare an elf?
5. All new undergarments.  Socks, underwear, bras, and what the heck, throw some spanks in there too.
6. Christmas lights that stay lit through the entire holiday season. 
7. A snow blower.  (This one's for my hubby.)

I know that my requests may very well be in vain.  But think of it like this, St. Nick.  You will be in the vicinity anyway.  It's not like I'm asking you to go out of your way or anything.  And I promise to leave you some treats out on the table.  It might be saltines and some old tootsie rolls.  Or an apple.  Let's be honest here, your cholesterol must be through the roof!  Sorry, no offense. 

Sort of Sincerely,

Rachel