We Love Trash Here

We love the garbage man. We here in the Vogel home are the garbage man's biggest fans.  I know what your first question is... how do I become a big garbage fan too? Let me teach you.

Being the garbage man's biggest fans is a pretty involved task.  In order to do this, you need a toddler (preferably right around age 2), a garbage man that comes by your house once a week, and some trash.  Now here's what you do:

Step 1: Know what day the garbage man comes.  My son Maximus knows that the garbage man comes on Wednesdays, so he asks me every day if today is Wednesday, and if so, is the garbage man coming.  Here's how he says it: "When day garbage day? Garbage truck coming?" Tell your child not to worry.  You have this under control.

Step 2: Drag a bunch of trash to your curb right before that day, so the garbage man is willing to get close to your surveillance sight.  Like a carrot for the bunny, people.  If your husband forgot to take out your trash, you better hop to it.  This is a team effort!

Step 3: On the day that your garbage man comes, listen for tell-tale signs of his arrival.  He drives a giant loud truck, which typically you can hear from a block or two (at least) away.  This is very convenient, just in case you are in mid-diaper change and need time to wrap the kid up and scramble to a window.  (Bonus alarm here: your child will also hear the garbage truck coming, and he will start to scream in excitement.)

Step 4: Race to the nearest window and wait.  When you see the garbage truck pull up, start to hoot and holler right along with your toddler.  Trust me, these little kids' excitement is very contagious. It was so amazing this morning.  We were able to witness the truck take its little dumpster in the front of the truck and dump it into the big part in the back of the truck!!

Finally, Step 5: Reset your garbage clock and wait.  Don't worry, it only takes the garbage man a week to get back to you. 

Signs that prove you are on your way to becoming the garbage man's biggest fans:
1) You drive all over town looking for the garbage truck on garbage day.  Hey, a second sighting is worth the extra gas expense.
2) Your windows have nose prints all over them.  And no, they aren't from your dog.
3) Hearing a loud truck makes your heart race, and you are sad when you see a regular, boring old dump truck or semi truck. 
4) The main goal on your New Year's Resolution list is to meet the garbage man.

I know what you are thinking here... I don't know if I have what it takes to do this!! Stop second-guessing yourself.  I have faith in you.  Once you get the hang of it, you too will enjoy an unparalleled passion for garbage.  Life might not smell sweeter, but it sure as heck will be more exciting.