My husband and I have three kids. Ages: 9, 3 and 1. The reason we have three is because WE DON'T WANT FOUR. We brag about how bright we were to have Blake get a vasectomy two weeks after Maximus was born and we lean eagerly into our futures that are diaper-free. So what do we do? We run out and get a dog.
Don't get me wrong, he's super cute. His name is Don Capone (after my grandpa and our current love of mafia film) and he's a pure bred boxer. He sleeps in the kids' little chairs and chases his stub-tail and rolls around in the backyard barking at his squeaky toy. My heart has melted again.
However...
It's officially a circus around here. I thought it was before, but now it's definitely a circus. Swing by around noon today for the nap act- you will be rolling around on our kitchen floor. Admission: no money accepted. You just stay in our house and I will sneak out the back door. I will go to the beach by myself. I will lay on the sand, catching rays and reading. I might bring a bag of chips along. I won't share with anybody, either.
The kids chase the dog who chases them and bites their butts. Suddenly I'm consoling Hailley, my three year old, for the scratch on her leg and yelling at Maximus, the infant, at the same time because he has wrestled Capone into a position I didn't think puppies were capable of. Together they all destroy crayons in the kitchen. Then there's Swaylynn, my nine year old, who plays with Capone for awhile and then complains that he doesn't like her anymore. Sway- you just chased the puppy around the yard for an hour. He is so wore out! Give the poor guy a break.
Capone ruined the plants in our backyard. He dug a hole there too. He ate my Money magazine last night. The first week we got him, he choked on a dandelion. (No worries, he was fine. It was pretty hilarious, really.) Capone has been caught standing on our living room table and the one in our backyard. As far as potty training... its been interesting. Thanks to my son, I've held Capone's poop in my hand.
Let me be cliché for one moment though: he completes us. It's totally crazy around here, and he adds to the element of insanity that already stains our lives, but it works. I love Capone. He's family. Even if he did eat half of my birthday pizza.
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