10 Reasons Why Marriage Rocks

It's time I talk about my husband Blake.  He is, after all, the reason I have kids to write about!  Let's start off with a few reasons why I love being married (to the perfect guy for me!)

1) Best friends rock, but you can't snuggle with them in bed while you giggle about some stupid inside joke you two have been cracking up over for three weeks.  "Mad Whacker Leaves Police Feeling Flaccid."

2) We enjoy each other's company.  We can be totally silent and still feel great sitting next to each other.  He gives me something to look forward to every day. 

3) I don't have to wear my sexiest underwear, cook him his favorite dish or kill him with my dazzling conversations in order to get laid (not that I really had to put in that much effort, but you get the point).  These are things I do just because it comes so naturally to me.  And I never have to worry he's going to give me a gift that keeps on giving.

4) It's like having an outie puzzle piece hanging out with your innie puzzle piece.  Blake fills in the spaces where I clearly lack (examples: remembering the name of that chic we saw yesterday, stabilizing our bedroom ceiling before he drywalls it, finding that freaking sippy cup I gave up all hope of seeing again). 

5) I don't have to pray that every fart simply vanishes back into my colon.  Not that I overwhelm my hubby with gross behavior, but a surprise every now and then doesn't bump me off my pedestal.

6) There is always someone there to say something good about you.  Blake compliments me every day, and he swears he is forever honest with me.  (Thanks for lying about being honest honey! Wink, wink.) I love the way he looks after I hit on him, too; especially in public.

7) There is always someone down in the dumps with you.  At least I'm not the only one in this house who screwed up the bills again this month. 

8) Friends are cool, but their loyalty only stretches so far.  Blake has supported me through some pretty embarrassing moments! He never even breathed a word to anyone about them. No, I'm not going to tell you about them.

9) We share the same dreams.  Every time he gets all excited and starts talking about something he really wants to do in the future, from a house DIY project to a certain way he wants us to handle our future teenagers, I hear myself saying, "HECK YEAH! That sounds awesome!" 

10) I have an amazing person to travel with me down this twisted path of life.  Bonus: I won't have to keep repeating stories of the past over and over, 'cuz he will be in them! (Unless he gets forgetful, in which case, bring on that sappy scene from The Notebook.  I got your back babe!)

Not all marriages end, or are miserable, self-inflicted wounds to the soul.  You just have to meet the right person, and listen to people that aren't a bunch of downers. 

** To my husband Blake.  Happy 28th birthday honey! Don't be mad I spilled the beans about your age, old man.  I'll make up for it later (wink, wink). **

Nail Polish Remover Has Met its Match!

I woke up this morning when I heard my son start to whine from his upstairs bedroom.  I stumbled from my bed in my husband and my's makeshift room (ours is under construction, so we are now blessed with having our bed be the first thing people see when they enter our front door!) I crept up the stairs and collected Maximus.  He was cheerful upon seeing my face, which eased the pain I felt from leaving my warm nest.

I dressed him and his big sister in cute clothes (we are going to a moms' group today) and we tromped back downstairs to get breakfast.  Before I made two little bowls for my children though, I disappeared into the bathroom. My stomach has been hurting badly lately.  We won't get into any more detail here other than to say it has been deterring me from my typically responsible actions, like get the kids their food BEFORE I take care of my debilitating cramps.

 As I waited out my pains in the bathroom, I glanced over the nail polish job I attempted last night.  Botched again.  I waited two and a half hours after painting them to go to bed and STILL have linen prints all over each nail!

I heard a plunk outside the bathroom door.  Lately, anytime I hear a sound I immediately assume it is Maximus finding mischief.  You know what?  I am usually correct.  I was correct again today...

I exited the bathroom in a hurry and looked around for the disaster.  "Oh Max!!"

He had found my nail polish bag that I foolishly left out from the night before.  He grabbed the nail polish remover and entered our kitchen.  Maximus somehow ripped the top of the lid off the bottle and proceeded to dump its contents all over the floor.  Only a photo of the bottle will help you understand how this kid did it.  He can't open bottles normally, but to shred the top apart? He's got that down.  Thank God he's alright!

MAXIMUS!!!

My son is 13 months old.  He is the most striking, intelligent child.  He claps and smiles, he dances to music, he calls the dog by name and he plays with his older sisters. I love him so much; my heart swells with pride and adoration every time I see his tiny little face. Lately though? This miniature man has been the biggest terror of my life!

Maximus is...curious, to put it in a pleasant way.  He climbs the chairs, the tables, and any other object he can use to get to the "restricted" stuff.  He stretches like gum to reach our cell phones, computer mice, cords, bobby pins, glassware, etc. in order to examine them (which often ends in the demise of the object).

In the last two weeks, my son has:
1) drowned my Glamour magazine in the toilet.
2) smashed a glass bowl on the kitchen floor after swiping it from my dishwasher.
3) pulled a chunk of Hailley's hair out of her head.
4) climbed onto the dining room table to reach my purse and destroyed/eaten its contents.
5) chugged what he could of my 7up, and the rest dripped onto the living room hardwood floor.
6) climbed onto our office chair and removed 11 buttons from my laptop's keypad.
7) terrorized my plant and eaten some of the dirt out of its pot.

I know there are more terrible occurrences, but my mind is repressing them right now. This is an abbreviated list of the activities my son has been up to lately.

Keep in mind that this child is THIRTEEN MONTHS OLD. What other atrocities will my family suffer from as he gains speed, agility and vocal skills?? I shiver at the very thought.  Thank God our furniture is mostly hand-me-downs.

Life Isn't a Big Bowl of Cherries?

My life isn't always cheerful and humorous.  I spend the majority of my time doing the same tasks over and over again.  I am tired a larger part of the time.  There are days where I whine all the way from the top of the stairs with my mammoth basket of dirty clothes down into the laundry room.  Every once in a while I burst into unexpected tears (like when I change Max's sheets in the morning and notice after his nap that he dumped his sippy all over the crib mattress and I have to change the sheets AGAIN) or yell at no one in particular just to get my frustration out. 

It is hard to remain calm.  That moment when your tiny little sweet toddler throws a tantrum which results in food all over the kitchen walls, floor and ceiling. 

It is hard to be a good role model.  That time your elementary school child caught the attitude bug and you heard yourself in her snippy tone. 

It is hard to be selfless.  In the dead of the night you hear your baby crying.  Stumble over the oblivious husband and go see what's the matter.  Spend the next hour and a half calming baby down. 

It is hard to smile sometimes.  Your child is super excited about... oh God, I don't know, is that a book or something?  You just wanted to finish paying the bills online.  Not happening now.  Take a break and listen. 

It is hard to be patient.  Your meal, which is always made last, has to sit on the counter getting cold while you give your infant an emergency bath after his diaper explosion. 

While there are limitless obstacles in this race, it is impossible to regret my career choice: Mom.  No matter what the crazy, insane circumstance is, I still LOVE my husband, my kids and my life.  I might bite my nails with anxiety over the bills or cry while I scoop buckets of water off the bathroom floor, but this is worth it. 

My baby woke up now and is crying upstairs, so I have to go.  :)

It's definitely worth it. 

This one's for you, kids

I want to remember these precious moments:

Carrying you downstairs in the basket of laundry (Maximus)

You saying, "I like your butt Mom." (Hailley)

You saying, "Thank you for today Mom." (Swaylynn)

How you style your hair yourself and I let you go to school like that, even if it's a little "different" (Swaylynn)

How you took 3 steps towards your family and clapped along with us for your achievement (Maximus)

How proud Daddy is that his little boy is obsessed with all things electrical (Maximus)

When you and I giggled hysterically while reading The Big Sister Book: I was laughing because you knew all the words and were saying them with such excitement, and you were laughing because I was (Hailley)

The day you were overtired and kept wandering around the house saying, "I'm down in the dumps today!" (Swaylynn)

How you follow your sister around like she is the greatest person on the face of this earth (Hailley)

Since you heard me say it, now you randomly say, "Thank you God!" (Hailley)

The way your little face scrunches up and bursts into tears when you think I'm leaving (Maximus)

Every time Grandma Deb leaves, you rush over to her demanding hugs and kisses, then you say, "BYE! LOVE YOU! THANKS FOR COMING! BYE! LOVE YOU! SEE YOU LATER! BYE GRANDMA!" (Hailley)

How I am pretty sure you are a writing prodigy but I'm afraid to brag and make the other moms feel bad (Swaylynn)

The day that my old friend died and I was so sad, you went down to the furniture shop in town (of all places kid!) and got me three little star decorations in red, white and blue to remember her by (Swaylynn)

How you get into my Tupperware cupboard and when I attempt to shoo you away, you get this gleam in your eye and a little crooked smile that apparently you already know works on the ladies (Maximus)

How sometimes you crawl on your knees and other times you crawl using your toes (Maximus)

The way you curl up next to me with your blanket on the couch saying, "I want to snuggle with you Mom." (Hailley)

The way you lounge around reading Goosebump books instead of pestering me to play video games (Swaylynn)

I love each one of you SOO much!  You are so different from each other and so fantastically amazing in your own way.  I thank God every day that you are mine for a while on this earth.  I can't wait to see what you grow up to be. 

Love always and forever,

Mom

Out of Babes' Mouths

One of the saddest ordeals with babies is the inevitable diaper rash.  I have worked tirelessly to avoid this painful occurrence, but every once in a while my success streak is broken with a rough outbreak of the red tush. 

So is the case with my son recently. I'm not sure which one of us has cried more over the matter.  Desitin flows freely, and the air is tainted with the ever-present scent of baby powder.  My heart breaks because I can't wash his pain away with one of his Pampers baby wipes.

While his rash is getting better, it's not improving fast enough for me. My attempt to fix his poor butt faster inspired me to leave Maximus's tushie free from diapers today (for as long as I can handle it!) Hailley, my two-year old, and I chose a nice warm long sleeve shirt for him and let the rest hang free (if you are picking up what I'm putting down here). 

Hailley was quite amused by Max's attire.  She kept repeating, "Look at his butt Mom! Look at his butt!" Yes dear, it is indeed a butt.  Rare thing in these here parts.  All parents know though that when it comes to conversing with a toddler, especially one that talks all day long, one of the best responses to remarks such as these is "Yes dear".  Keep it simple and save yourself from having a ten minute conversation about cheese or something when you could have been finishing your chores early.  I continue picking up the baby room as I mumble yes dears to Hailley.

Finally I catch the comment I was waiting for. I hear my daughter say "awwww, look at his little tail!"

Naptime...?

Naptime.  That glorious period during the day where my house is kind of clean and totally quiet. I can watch TV that doesn't have catchy jingles about counting to ten.  I can read books that are not full of pictures.  I can fold clothes without having a child rip the piles off the bed.  Yes! I love naps!

Hailley, my two year old, does not feel the same as I do about this period of the day (or nighttime for that matter).  She cries, she begs, she throws herself down on the floor and writhes around like a dog rolling all over a dead animal.  I am not a woman to be deterred by this behavior though, and so every day around noon she gets a nap.  I am willing to compromise with Hailley however.  I will leave the door open if she promises to stay in her room and go to sleep. 

My plan backfired. Miserably.

I put Maximus in his little crib, kissed him, and left the door open a crack.  I led Hailley into her room, kissed her, and told her that after she sleeps, we will get up and play again.  I left the door open to pacify her. 

I went downstairs.  I planned on taking a nap myself, a rare and magnificent concept.  I crawled into my bed and dozed off into a beautiful, poop-free dream world.

Thirty minutes later, I heard Maximus crying. 

I tried to ignore him.  Surely he will drift off to sleep again.

Nope. 

I dragged myself out of bed and went upstairs to see what his deal was.  I figured he must have a dirty diaper, or he was scared, or..

his sister was sitting in his crib with him. 

She laughed when she saw me, as though I had said a great joke she would have to remember and tell others later.  How the he** did she climb in there?? I pulled her out and set her on the floor.  Hailley was thrilled at her adventure; she kept giggling and telling me that she was "in his crib, Mom!"

Needless to say, naptime had failed. Both kids were wide awake, which required me to stay awake too.  I shook the air of discontentment off my shoulders and scooped up Maximus. Hailley chattered at my knees as we headed towards the stairs. 

"I want to get up now Mom."  I'm sure you do honey. 

Hailley: 2         Mom: 0